Eff grammar.

I would like to use commas conversationally.

Online Dating.

• They never look like their picture
• Most likely taking anti-depressants
• 75% chance they live with their parents
• lesbians with baby daddies

Homeless people are my new BFFS.

TIRED. 

I hate the TV for being stupid

I may be one of those holier than thou television-less individuals, but when I was stuck in suburbia for a week wired on caffeinated beer at 4am, I discovered the wonders of digital cable. Six hours, 7 CNN reports about shirtless Obama, laptop and burger commercials featuring people from the third world and a couple of MTV "True Life" episodes later I felt disappointed in myself and  society. I wanted to end my life, despite the fact that I had previously enjoyed it. The idea of tomorrow was uninspiring and dull. I understand why people remove themselves from the world, when all it appears to be offering is baloney flavored Sunny D and nationally televised sex change operations. About to give up hope and plunge head first off my mother's balcony, words of hope called to me in my intoxicated state. No, it wasn't the TBN Christian prayer hotline. I called them earlier and their only suggestion was to repent. It was the microwave telling me I should lay off the hallucinogens.  

Avoiding wetsocks

My choice to wear knee high rubber work boots in the winter earns me questioning looks.